We hear this phrase from almost everyone. He is so happy! Yes he is, most of the time. When he isn't, he sure isn't! I attribute his happiness to two things, his personality and our parenting style. It's hard to know how much each plays in, as there really isn't a good way to separate them. I do know if I deviate for our usual parenting style, he doesn't like it!
Our parenting style is called attachment parenting. I actually didn't know what attachment parenting was until after he was born. I starting doing things that felt right to me, and he liked it, so we just kept going. I read about attachment parenting somewhere and said hey that's what we are doing!! I love how natural it feels. I don't worry about what "they" say you should do. We follow our instincts and his cues and everyone is pretty happy.
The basis of attachment parenting is that your child needs lots of love, attention, time with their parents, and that you and your child have to build trust with each other. Trust is built by always responding when your child cries and they learn to trust that someone will meet their needs when they cry. Although the bean gets upset and cries, it's rarely full on wailing with tears anymore, which I certainly attribute to being responsive. He doesn't have to resort to that type of crying to communicate his needs. To really practice this style of parenting, you have to believe that you can't spoil a baby by holding them to much or responding to them.
The benefits of attachment parenting have been shown in studies and become apparent as babies get older. Toddlers tend to be much happier (less "terrible twos") and all ages tend to be very empathetic. It's obvious with the bean already. If I get upset, he gets very worried and upset. They also actually tend to be more adventurous and independent as they get older, taking cues from their parents. If mom and dad are relaxed and in view, they are more willing to explore a new area and not be clingy. Even now the bean is rarely overstimulated or afraid even in noisy or crowded situations. I wear him in these situations and he feels secure with me. He watches my face regularly to see if I'm ok with everything and then he's ok too.
In some respects, it's more work up front. We don't do any "baby training", like using methods like cry it out to put him to bed. We also don't have him on any type of schedule. We have routines and we follow his cues for when he is ready for certain things. This actually makes it easier to go places and do different things at different times, as he easily adapts. The biggest thing I have found, is if he is at all uncertain about things or not feeling great, he wants a lot more time with me. This might mean I hold him or wear him more or he might sleep with us. In Vegas, he had the double whammy of a new place and a new tooth, so he spent a lot of time in our bed. That's no big deal though. A king bed has lots of room for everyone!!
One of my favorite things about attachment parenting is that it isn't an all or nothing you must follows these rules method. There are 7 basic principals (Dr. Sears calls them the Baby Bs) and you do what works for you from these. For example, we don't co sleep nightly anymore. The bean spent the first about five months in our room and then gradually transitioned to his room. Now he only sleeps in our room or with us if he needs to. I know some of the things we do parenting are different or new to you from when you had kids, so I thought I share why we do what we do! If you are interested in more information, Dr. Sears has a great section on attachment parenting on his website.
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